Gender Bending

For those of you that don't know, I'm involved with a volunteer group with the local Ecumenical Christian Ministries affiliated with campus (that does not require any profession of Christianity if Buddhists/Taoists/Agnostics/Wiccans/ect. also want to participate) called the Sexuality Education Committee (SEC). SEC seeks to educate students and anyone else interested in aspects of human sexuality that are not typically covered in any campus-offered classes. That is, we go beyond anatomy, STD prevention and "be safe" to hold events by local sex therapists, psychologists and other experts to discuss the deeper issues that sexually mature adults deal with. Right now we are holding "The Real Person's Guide To Human Sexuality," a 12-week free lecture/event series that presents on a different topic each Monday evening.

So, in honor of our first event last week, I wanted to write some on its topic: Transexuality.

To cover some of the basics - a person usually identifies as transgendered if they feel like their internal concept of their gendered self is different than the external expression of the sex of their body. Most transgendered persons report first having these feelings at a very young age, usually 3 to 10 years, although many do not come forward to others with these feelings until much older.

Some examples that you may recognize from the media:



Max, the Female to Male transgendered character on the Showtime show "The L Word," played by Daniela Sea

or



Katelynn, the recent cast member of The Real World: Brooklyn

or



Thomas, the "Pregnant Dad" who is a Female-to-Male transgendered person who assumed the external appearance of a man by taking hormones, but never did the surgery to change the female genitalia. Thomas was happily married to his wife, Nancy, but she was not able to conceive a child so they carried their baby in Thomas's perfectly healthy uterus.


Another topic relating to the oppression of the falsely black-and-white limitations on gender in our society is the persons who are born Intersex. The basic definition of a person born intersex is having "ambiguous gentaila". This quirk of biology can occur because when we are all developing fetuses we all start out as female, and then the determination of the sex depends upon whether or not the Y chromosome signals the tissue of the ovaries to descend into testicles and the clitoris to grow into a penis. However, growing a person is a very complex process with many opportunities for something to go wrong, and occasionally the thing that goes wrong is the genitalia development. Some of the many possibilities where the results don't fit the mold are when a person has a normal looking vulva on the outside, but instead of a uterus and ovaries has un-descended testes internally. The person could also end up with external genitalia that is somewhere between a large clitoris and a small penis. There are other variations, but you get the idea.

The latest media example of this is the runner Caster Semenya, who won a woman's race by quite a bit, and then was later discovered to not actually fit completely into the cut and dry XX category after all.

The tragic part of this issue is that, due to our society's inability to accept anyone who is not easily identifiable as completely male or completely female, doctors and parents often decide to surgically alter an infant's genitalia to look as close as they can get to one or the other. This decision is made before the person can voice their own wishes as to which gender they feel they are and would like to be assigned as, and also typically results in a significant loss of genital sensitivity. The surgery is purely for cosmetic purposes; the life or health of such individuals is not at risk. But they wouldn't match either mommy or daddy, which is not something many parents are willing to allow until the child can speak for itself.

Another interesting fact about gender:

Hormone levels have nothing to do with one's personal gender identity or sexual preferences in others. Studies were done to measure the testosterone levels of different men, some straight and some gay. And, in fact some of the highest levels of testosterone were found in the men who most strongly identified as homosexual. In addition, genetic females who take testosterone do not report a changing of their identity or preferences, but they do experience a significant increase in libido - it's just the same version of the libido as before.

And, finally, the inspiration for today's post (in addition to the event last week, perhaps "catalyst" is a better word):

My new discovery on MySpace today - Jeffree Star








From Jeffree's MySpace bio:

The appearance of my own body is cut and dissected every time I breathe. My horror of beauty is not when I’m laying naked on the bathroom floor, but when I’m staring at myself, wondering what’s underneath the painted-on feelings and made-up eyes. I’m not a fucking beauty queen. When I walk into the bathroom, I’m not getting pretty.. I’m destroying myself. Repairing myself from the damage I’ve done. Whether YOU like it or NOT. The ceiling of fear crashes down on me when I pick up the latest fashion magazine and find that no one else looks like me. But what is ME? Where has the word "real" gone to? Maybe reality is blonde hair, plastic body parts, tan skin and porcelain teeth? I think it’s sweaty skin, smeared lipstick and a big mouth, being afraid of nothing and truly LOVING yourself without BEING someone else. The vanity sanctuary will keep me safe and you can try to break me down but you’re only hurting yourself, just like you’re supposed to be doing.

I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that's not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. Sure, everybody wants to play God, but for me it's a full-time job. What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.

What do you think? What does looking at Jeffree make you think about yourself and the world?

For further reading: Between XX and XY: Intersexuality and the Myth of Two Sexes by Gerald N. Callahan PhD


Post Script:
Another fact I learned at tonight's Domestic Violence presentation: the number one public health risk facing transexuals is murder. Please go forth and spread love and acceptance and knowledge and wisdom.

where are you on the spectrum?

Your result for The Sexuality Spectrum Test...

Bi/Slightly Straight

You scored 5 (-52 being completely gay, 0 being bisexual, and 52 being completely straight)

For the most part, you are bisexual. You have a slight preference for the opposite sex, but either sex would suit you. If you are sexually inexperienced, it is possible that this will change after you do some experimenting.

Take The Sexuality Spectrum Test at HelloQuizzy

This quiz was not especially sophisticated but it did the job.

I think that this clip explains how I feel best. Her character is a lesbian explaining her preferences. And as celebrities and situations go, I can most definitely identify with the famous-for-being-more-curvy-than-hollywood-typically-allows gorgeous Ms. Lopez displaying her mastery of yoga while presenting a flawless argument.



And as far as bisexuality - well who knows for me. I'm too busy being monogamous right now to figure out how far I would enjoy things to go with a woman. My suspicions are thus: A) I'm picky. There are a lot of people that don't do it enough for me to want to let anything at all happen. When you transfer that pickyness down to the much smaller pool of possibilities containing women that dig women, the occurrences become rare. But they have happened. But those special ones were either not interested in women, already in a relationship, or not attracted to me at the same time. Or I was in a relationship. And B) I don't pursue. I like to be pursued. I will make myself accessible and start a conversation, but beyond that if someone does not act interested I do not push the issue. Perhaps it is my ego protecting itself, perhaps it is my ego just wanting to be stroked with attention, or perhaps it is my first test for anyone interested - I need you to want me enough to make something happen. And with guys, this works fine. I am good at attracting the ones I want usually, and they are good at being transparent enough for me to tell they are interested enough to feel safe.
But I lack the skills with women. They make me all nervous and flustered. Because there is not only the wondering if they are into me to think of with guys, but there is the wondering if they are into girls at all. And the fact that I'm usually pretty feminine and don't project all kinds of "butch ladies should come hit on me" vibes. And then some hot guy comes over and picks me up and I get all wrapped up in a monogamous relationship with him for a few years... and so yeah.
On my last trip to Colorado I met two amazing women I would so cuddle up with and make out with for a good while. A gorgeous effervescent buddhist psych grad student in boulder who talked to me openly and excitedly about our sex lives and adopting children all within the first 5 minutes of having met. And an amazing burlesque dancer who studied ballet all her life until she got injured and was the best performer of the night (or perhaps equal with my other amazing dancer friend in the show) who I had a lot in common with and also opened up to me very quickly and was a damn sexy burlesque dancer with the most creative costume and quite perfect breasts.
But she had a husband and the first had a boyfriend. And I've got one of those too, who I kind of want to be my husband.

As the first woman I've ever wanted to make love to said so well:

And you'll never know dear
Just how much I loved you
You probably think this was just my big excuse
But I stand committed
To a love that came before you
And the fact that I adore you
Is just one of my truths

And I guess that this is the price we pay
for the privilege of living for even a day
in a world with so many things worth believing in

some thoughts on one of the intersections of physicality & spirituality

From the introduction of Mark Bittman's Food Matters:

Two years ago, a report from the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) landed on my desk. Called Livestock's Long Shadow, it revealed a stunning statistic: global livestock production is responsible for about one-fifth of all greenhouse gases - more than transportation.

This was a signal moment for me, coming along with some personal health problems, an overall gloomy global outlook, and an increasing concern with animal products in general-the quality of meat, the endangerment of wild fish, the way domestic animals are raised, and the impact of our diet has had on the environment. Never before had I realized issues of personal and global health intersected so exquisitely. The destiny of the human race and that of the planet lay in our hands and in the choices-as individuals and as a society-that we made.

And, same topic from a different angle, this is the chapter Spiritual Correctness from Cheri Huber's Trying to Be Human: Zen Talks

Spiritual Correctness

Discussions of harmlessness often lead to questions like, where do you draw the line about what life forms you do and do not kill?

Within myself, it is not necessary to draw any lines, because I am always responding to an internal sense of how something feels to me. Obviously I eat. People will ask me, "What about a carrot? Don't you think a carrot feels?"

Maybe it does. However, looking into the eyes of a carrot and looking into the eyes of a cow, I have a very different experience, such that right now I am going to eat the carrot, and I am not going to eat the cow. I would ask people who can eat cows with no difficulty to spend a little time looking in the eyes of a cow and see if it seems like there is anybody home there.

It is not compassionate to this creature (pointing to self) not to eat anything at all - nor would it be compassionate to force myself to eat the cow.

People argue that because the nervous system of a mosquito is not developed to the point that it can understand itself as a seperate being, it's okay to kill them. When I look at a mosquito though, I clearly see that it is alive, and it is going about its life. Just because I cannot see into its eyes does not mean it doesn't have eyes, it just means my seeing is too gross. Why should the mosquito pay with its life for the limitations of my perception?

It is also argued that if you are three times removed from the killing of a creature, it's okay to eat it. That means if somebody kills it and somebody else processes it and somebody else sells it, there is no harm in buying it and eating it. The word "rationalization" always springs to my mind when I hear that. Why would people go through the trouble to rationalize something like that if they did not in their heart suspect that it wasn't the thing to do?

I go so far as to not eat with people who are eating creatures. When this peculiarity of mine is mentioned, I am sometimes asked how I avoid offending people. The answer is, if I lived my life to avoid offending people, I'd be out of a job. But usually I am not in situations where this is a difficulty. I arrange it that way; I do not lead retreats where anything other than vegetarian food is served, because I cannot look at the flesh and not think about the creature.

I am not suggesting any "shoulds" based on a notion that not eating meat is the more spiritual thing to do. In fact, "the more spiritual thing to do" is an idea that is always interesting to question.

contemporary ballet partnering

is one of my favorite things in the whole world

excitement

yes, I think that the majority of my heading's themes are the basis of this show.