talented brilliant satirical sexy real & oh so deliciously fashionable

the latest masterpiece:



if you're not identifying yet



proof she's got the legit skills



and she blows you away with how rad she is as an actual person



and the best live show I've seen in quite some time

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

“I always loved rock and pop and theater. When I discovered Queen and David Bowie is when it really came together for me and I realized I could do all three,” says Gaga, who nicked her name from Queen’s song “Radio Gaga” and who cites rock star girlfriends, Peggy Bundy, and Donatella Versace as her fashion icons. “I look at those artists as icons in art. It’s not just about the music. It’s about the performance, the attitude, the look; it’s everything. And, that is where I live as an artist and that is what I want to accomplish.”

“My goal as an artist is to funnel a pop record to a world in a very interesting way,” says Gaga, who wrote all of her lyrics, all of her melodies, and played most of the synth work on her album, The Fame (Streamline/KonLive/Cherrytree/Interscope). “I almost want to trick people into hanging with something that is really cool with a pop song. It’s almost like the spoonful of sugar and I’m the medicine.”

It’s been a while since a new pop artist has made her way in the music industry the old-fashioned/grass roots way by paying her dues with seedy club gigs and self-promotion. This is one rising pop star who hasn’t been plucked from a model casting call, born into a famous family, won a reality TV singing contest, or emerged from a teen cable TV sitcom. “I did this the way you are supposed to. I played every club in New York City and I bombed in every club and then killed it in every club and I found myself as an artist. I learned how to survive as an artist, get real, and how to fail and then figure out who I was as singer and performer. And, I worked hard.”

The Hero of this Halloween

is officially Heidi Klum



as Kali





















with hubby Seal































Amazing.

I'm going into therapy

Because I want to be a therapist. So I'd better darn well be familiar with the process and have some empathy for those on the other end of things. And the most respected areas of the field pretty much expect that you receive therapy yourself as a lifelong endeavor.

Because I believe in therapy. I think the majority of the world's problems would be solved if everyone got over their bullshit egos thinking that you only get "help" if something's "wrong" with you and you can't "take care of yourself." Because one of my favorite quotes is

"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."
— Frank Warren

Because sometimes I forget that I'm not normal. Because I had help to get through it and I ended up ok and I feel like I should fit in with the world. But most people did not lose one of their parents when they were fourteen. And that stays with you forever. Every loss does. But I have been thinking about the concept of being an orphan lately. About how Harry Potter is an orphan, about how he has automatic conflict and depth and never ending heartbreak because he will always always be the boy who feels the stinging deep ache of his parents' absence. But there is no word for being half an orphan. I think there should be. Because I think that feels appropriate, to find some way to pin down what I feel, what I am - I am half an orphan. I think I will always be damaged and I will always be missing something and I will always live in an entirely different world than people with both parents. At least people who got to graduate high school with both parents, who got to graduate college, who got to have their fathers walk them down the aisle, who got to have their parents meet their children.

But my therapist isn't going into all this yet. We're mostly talking about my sleeping habits and such so far. Which is fine. I know we have to "build the therapeutic relationship" and start on the easier things.

And I'm also going because I'm using the University's clinic that they use as a training tool for their students. So I get to pay $9 a session in exchange for a girl who is my age if not younger and who I don't think has ever been out in the world not in college. But that is ok. Because one day I will be her, and I will need understanding clients to learn on. And one day I will be able to afford therapy with someone older and wiser and strong enough to hold everything I have to share.

So this is my activism against the stigma of therapy, against the way the normal response is to laugh at it as only something "silly elitist self-centered people do" or shudder in disgust at even taking a look at the deeper issues or say, "well that's great for you but I can certainly take care of myself."

Because, guess what - I can take care of myself too. I even welcome it when people have the courage to ask me about my dad. It's not taboo, I'm glad you want to know. I can answer your questions appropriately and calmly. And I can function in the world like any human being. But I want more than functioning, I want more out of life, I want to take absolute thorough care of every crevice of my psyche, I want to ascend to new levels and I want to face my weaknesses.

If only the men who start the world's wars had the courage to do the same.

sappy poem

my love
how you satisfy
this existential chemical hunger

your scent your taste
quenches and soothes like cucumber
the faint complexity of nature manifested so clear and clean

your touch so intoxicating
like cinnamon
fiery, tingling and richly effortlessly perfect

your love washes over me
filling every spiritual need, binding to every receptor, overwhelming and surprising
like creamy vanilla, sweet and indulgent

in the past I had believed that my primary challenge would be
to make peace
with the hunger

but apparently it has become
to strive for the unattainably appropriate amount of gratitude
for such endless satiety

Thank You Glamour

For allowing me to emerge from having read an article in a fashion magazine without suddenly finding myself drowning in a pool of obsessions on the 63 physical flaws I need to get back to feeling self-conscious about.

One interesting fact: the modeling industry considers a model to be in the "Plus Size" category if she is over a size 6. That is just nauseating. In contrast, the highest selling size is 14. I am about a 10 on bottom and a 6 or 8 on top. I have never been thin, but I wouldn't say that I have to shop in the especially demeaning "Plus Size" departments either.

I think that Kate Harding on Jezebel sums it up best:

Truly accepting and supporting body diversity doesn't mean making assumptions about the health of size 0s or size 18s, 24s, 30s, what-have-you, and it definitely doesn't mean saying that women of some sizes shouldn't get clothes. (She also said earlier that "they shouldn't even make clothes" as small as size 0.) I understand that you don't want to be seen as supporting unhealthy or self-destructive behavior, but you can be against self-harm and pro-health without reinforcing the ideas that A) those who fail to maximize their own health potential to the greatest possible extent are less deserving than others, and B) there is a set range of "healthy" sizes — even if the one you would set is more generous than that of, say, most women's magazines — and anyone who falls outside it is suspect (see A).

But the Naked Fat Girl Extravaganza itself is still far from diverse by any reasonable standard. One woman of color, one maybe size 16, and a bunch of women who are conventionally beautiful and traditionally feminine-looking, despite being, you know, somewhere around the size of the average American woman (only much taller). As I said before, it's a good effort, and I'm going to go buy the issue to show my support. But let's not kid ourselves — this isn't a revolution. Yet.